Red Flags Of Toxic S Types
BDSM Vetting 101
Power Exchange is a 2 way street.
There’s a term known as Topping from the bottom.
Often used to describe a submissive or bottom player that doesn’t allow their Dom to actually take control.
What do I mean?
They don’t actually want to obey, they want to test the Dom at every turn. That’s not obedience nor is it submitting. It’s topping from the bottom.
Topping from the bottom is seen when the sub wants to dictate the scene. They want to tell their Dom exactly how to treat them, what to say and do as if your desires are not included, every detail is planned out down to aftercare.
As a Dom myself, where is the fun in that? Sounds like a customer instead of a potential submissive. Remember Power Exchange is a 2 way street of equal give and take.
More RED flags to look for
Speaking of Give and Take
If you feel as a Dom, overwhelmed by all the things your submissive has asked you to help them with, or you feel drained, or you feel like you're giving more than you're getting in return and you may have noticed the exchange, of give and take, is not equal. This is a red flag to take seriously for your health and well being.
It's important to know, some people seek Doms out to act as their savior. It is not our job to save them or fix them, they can only do these things for themselves. Once they actually do, Only then, can others be of service to them. Because they have done the work within first.
I’ve seen many times a submissive ask for help, because their Dom is no longer interested, or depressed. They will also say in the same line. How can I get him to Dom me more? I’m not getting what I need or something similar
That tells me, that its all about them, they could really care less about their Dom’s depression or well-being because they feel they aren’t getting the attention they deserve. When someone actually cares for you. They’ll give you time to recover. When a submissive actually wants to submit, They normally ask,
How can I better serve my Dom during a rough time?
See the difference?
My final warning sign is based on the submissive collar itself
It seems to be more important to some than the actual relationship Many seem to think that the collar belongs to them instead of their owner
It becomes their obsession, They treat it like a trophy and they expect it to meet their standards of what a collar should be. If it doesn’t meet their expectations it causes a rift in the relationship because they have allowed the collar's value to represent their identity. Instead of seeing it as an outward symbol of the relationship’s growth and status in the kink community
After all it symbolizes a Submissive In training, or A Owned pet or submissive as in claimed property.
If your submissive is constantly bringing up, when they will get their collar Take that as a red flag, they are treating it more like a game prize instead of recognizing the COLLAR for what it is, an outward symbol of their Status within the kink community.
Side Note : If you are a single submissive type. It is advised not to wear a collar to events to prevent being seen as Owned.
The above represents the foundation of all great relationships Make sure they check off this list before committing, You deserve no less.. Wink
Mistress Gomorahh Reigne.